Survival Shuffle

Getting through your next workout to get through life.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Resetting Expectations

I expected a PR in the Army Ten Miler.

The first time I ran the race in 2003, I recorded a time of 1:35:48. Though I'd been shooting for 9:00 miles, it was my first long race, my first big race, and I was very satisfied with the effort. Plus, it was more fun than I'd ever had in a race. I'd never run a big race with bands and cheering crowds. It got me thinking that I wanted to do more big races. It also got me thinking that a marathon wasn't out of reach, and started me on the path of running for the rest of my life.

So the Army Ten Miler holds a special place in my heart as one of my favorite races, but I've also been chasing that 1:35 time since then.

In 2004, I ran a 1:31:54 in the Cherry Blossom 10-miler (though under someone else's bib so it's not an official PR for me), and wanted to go under 90 minutes in the ATM. I figured it would be very doable coming off my first marathon that spring. But after the marathon, my feet started developing problems, which I medicated with ibuprofen and naproxen, which resulted in stomach bleeding and cancelled my running for the rest of the year. I was disappointed.

In 2005 I came back. The ATM was 3 weeks before my second marathon, the Marine Corps Marathon, where I was hoping to go under 4:00, just over a 9:00 pace per mile. I was going to use the ATM as a test race. If I could manage 1:27 or less in the 10-mile race which is run largely on the same course as MCM, I'd feel comfortable setting a 4:00-4:15 time goal for my marathon.

But 2005 wasn't to be my year. To start with, I spent the night before awake with a fever and chills. Race morning dawned and I had a bad case of the flu. But I felt like I couldn't back out. I went out hard, staying on pace through 6 miles. But I started to falter, took a major walk break at the 6 mile water stop and clocked a time of 1:00:03 through the chip mats at 6.5 miles (just over 9 minute pace). I decided to relax through 7 miles and then push it again. I passed 7 miles and got back on pace, then realized we were running down Independence Avenue away from the 14th Street Bridge which would take us back to the Pentagon. I did a little bit of thinking about the route back and realized that we were about to go over the Memorial Bridge and back over the first few miles of the race course. Knowing the mileage on that portion of the course already, I knew we'd be running over 10 miles, and so gave up. The course ended up being between 11.2 miles and 11.4 miles depending on whose estimate you believe, putting my final pace between 8:55 and 9:05 per mile. Not what I wanted, but impressive given my flu. Still, it wasn't an official time, and I didn't have an official PR. Plus that race forced my illness to linger for the remaining weeks till the Marine Corps Marathon, decimating my performance there. So that was a disappointing year.

This year, I signed up knowing I'd be coming off another marathon training effort. Without having another marathon to train for, I figured I could focus on speedwork and finally get my PR. I put in an optimistic time of 1:25:00 on the registration, and decided I'd be happy with 1:27.

Then I got pregnant.

Well, I knew I wouldn't be running that PR, but I had no idea just how much I'd have to reset my expectations. A 4 mile run in 50 minutes has been a good day for me in the past few weeks. I've had to start swilling water every few minutes. What's more, I've been craving hamburgers, egg McMuffins, and milk like I'm a baby cow. Not the most conduscive diet to running performance. (The old wives say this means it's a boy, BTW. I guess they have a 50% chance of being right.)

It is truly amazing how fast the dropoff in running performance has happened. As I wrote in my last post, I started to see the effects within days of conceiving. My body is obviously telling me it has reset priorities. It must take a tremendous amount of energy to build a new human being, and I've been ravenous just sitting on the couch.

Still, I've made it my goal to keep running for as long as possible. Though I am disappointed with every 15 minute mile I clock, I've decided to throw out the watch and just run for the freedom of running, knowing it will help me have a healthy baby.

So today I went out with no expectations, just praying that I could finish. (Though I did take my metro card with me in case I had to drop out).

DH was running with the "Back from Iraq" team which had a tent in the finish area. So we arrived at the tent around 7:00 AM and dropped off our warmups, and loaded ourselves up with gel. I wore my Grand Island Marathon t-shirt to remind myself that I was capable of finishing a long distance.

I left DH at the tent and ambled over to the start area, where I was going to be meeting a friend from the RWOL women's forum. She's running the Baltimore Marathon next week, and is an accomplished runner, typically pacing herself a bit faster than I would. But she wants to relax the week before the marathon, use this as an easy run to test out her outfit, fueling strategy, etc. I told her I'd be doing 11:00 miles at best, and she says that's fine. I'm sure she'll be pulling away after a few miles and I'm going to feel guilty if she stays with me the whole time.

I'm in the 7:00-8:00 pace corral, and decide to stay there rather than moving back, since no one at this race seems to pay attention to the corral guidelines. DH is in the second wave, starting 10 minutes behind us, anticipating a 10:00 pace, so he'll probably catch me.

It's a beautiful morning and I'm happy just to be out and proving to myself that I can still finish 10 miles. The race provided disposable cameras in the packets, so I have it with me and I'm hoping to take a few pictures of the beautiful scenic course through dowtown Washington.

There's a catch to this year's race - runners are not allowed to bring water bottles. So I will only be able to drink every 2 miles. Normally I wouldn't even take my own water in a short race like this, but as I mentioned, I've been a lot more thirsty. But I tested the 2-mile interval out the previous weekend, and it seemed to be all right, as long as I down a full 8 ounces every 2 miles.

So we start out and I feel a bit nervous. I decide to push myself a little bit for as long as I can, and clock the first two miles in around 10:30. The third mile contains a water stop where I walk for a bit, and clock an 11:30 split, with the same for Mile 4. Mile 4 I'm starting to feel the need for a bathroom, as is my friend, so we stop and wait in line just after the water stop, which takes 3-4 minutes. I enter the porta-potty and quickly discover that morning sickness and other people's waste don't mix. I involuntarily heave and hold my shirt over my face to try and keep myself from puking. I do my business as fast as possible and run out of the john, vowing to only run trails from now on where I can comfortably go in the woods. We continue along and pass the halfway point in just a few seconds under 1:00, an average of 12:00 pace, though with a 4 minute bathroom break, normally not a feature of a 10-mile race for me. All in all, I am quite impressed with myself, but I can feel the breakdown coming.

I start mentally running aid-station to aid-station, a trick ultra-runners have told me to use. I know I have only a mile to get to the next water stop. We clock it in 11:14. I take a picture of the Capitol here, and gulp down a gel and cup of water. With the break, Mile 7 is slower at 12:25. I'm really starting to hurt, and I look down Independence Avenue to a pair of stone pedestrian bridges that cross the street, knowing that's the next mile marker and the turnoff to the 14th Street Bridge. It looks close but feels far. Fortunately, this is one of the most crowded spectator sections, and we get a lot of cheering and high-fives. I start feeling some abdominal cramping and have to walk for a few seconds. This is almost certainly a bathroom issue coming on, which I normally start getting around this distance when I'm not restricting dairy. 12:38 for Mile 8. I'm losing steam.

Looking for a porta-potty at Mile 8 but don't see one. I take a lot of water and feel like I need more. Walk for a while and look at the hill leading up the bridge. I hate that bridge. With a passion. It comes at the toughest portion of both this race and the Marine Corps Marathon, it's exposed to the sun, with an imperceptible incline and a weird uphill portion at the end. There are no spectators. It's just you and two miles of desert-like pavement.

I'm wondering where DH is, and figure he must have passed me while I was in the bathroom. I start shuffling up the bridge and walk some more. DH's running partner passes us and tells us he's a few minutes back. We hit the flat-looking portion of the bridge and I start to run slightly faster. DH catches us and tells me I look good and he's proud of me. I tell both him and my friend to go ahead, and they insist on staying with me. I'm really shuffling and start to walk up the end uphill. I see the exit ramp back down into the Pentagon parking lot where the finish is. I just want to get off this road.

We head down the exit ramp, and run a bit harder into the finish. I've taken off my shirt, in spite of feeling like a flabby beast (I've put on 9 pounds in the past two months), because the sun was pretty brutal on the bridge. I realize I won't get a finishing picture if the photographers don't get my number, and really, all I'm finishing for at this point is that picture. So I rip my number off my shirt, hold it in front of me, smile at the camera, and point at my belly. Baby's first race! I hope it comes out well. If it does, I will probably order a copy. Something I don't normally do. This pregnancy thing is turning me intoa sentimental fool.

DH, my friend, and I all finished together. My time was 2:00:39, with DH's roughly 10 minutes faster. If you subtract that bathroom stop, I averaged 11:36 per mile. Much better than I thought I might do. I've never finished a race with DH before, and that makes me very happy. I'm very grateful my friend ran all the way with me, and I'm sure I would have walked substantially more without her support.

All-in-all, it was a fun day, and reminded me, as Grand Island did, that some challenges in running aren't about time. It's about just getting through, and doing something different. It's about having friends and good times along the way.

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

Well I have to start by apologizing for my recent abscence, but hopefully everyone will appreciate the reason.

The week after the Grand Island Marathon I decided to take a little break from running and blogging. The following weekend, I went out and tried to run 5 miles. I couldn't finish. I slept a total of 20 hours per day those two days and was completely wiped out. I chalked it up to the marathon effort.

The following week was no better, with only one truly awful run. I started going to sleep at 8 PM every night. I could not figure out what was going on.

The next weekend, the reason for the fatigue became clear. My body is otherwise occupied, busy producing a new human life.

That's right, I'm going to be a mom. Run for the hills now.

I didn't want to make an announcement here as several colleagues from work occasionally read this blog. I wanted to wait a few weeks. In the meantime, running became close to impossible, and I felt like I didn't have anything to write about.

I am currently 12 weeks along and for most of that time I haven't managed more than a disappointing mile or two at a time once or twice a week, and have been collapsing into bed so early at night that I haven't had time to write.

Fortunately, for the past couple of weeks things have been getting better. I am not nearly as tired, and I've been able to run a bit more. So I hope to retrun to writing, starting with this post!

Today I had a major accomplishment - I finished the Army Ten Miler, one of my favorite races. A race report will be posted here shortly.

In the meantime, accept my apologies. I look forward to recording the changes in my self and my running here in the coming months, and hope I have something special to show my baby when it's all done.